Chachi's NFL Draft Notebook

Like many of you, today I decided to plop down and watch the draft. Here are a few of my thoughts while watching the first round.

• Might have been the least manly intro ever! What exactly does a weird looking guy with a french accent have to do with the NFL draft?
• I have a monster hang over from last night and there's 8 hours of Chris Berman's voice on tap, this will be painful.
• I'm still not sold on Mario Williams and I think the Texans made a huge mistake. A guy who only had sacks in 11 of 23 college games is your #1 pick? Too many question marks for me. I'm also sad that now I can't make fun of the Saints for taking another DE in round 1. They were starting to wander into Matt Millen territory.
• It officially took 11 minutes into the draft coverage for them to reference a crappy Cleveland Browns draft pick.
• I'm not totally sure, but I think the fans at Radio City Music Hall just booed Tagliabue's announcement that the "Texans are on the clock". God bless New Yorkers.
• At this point I'm working under the assumption that Berman is just throwing random words together and hoping they make a funny statement. Excrutiating.
• Mario Williams is picked and the crowd begins the "over-rated" chant. Why do they continue to hold this event in NYC with some of the most volatile and verbally abusive fans in the world in attendance? Actually, ignore that comment. The draft wouldn't be the same without them.
• I'm pretty sick of everyone talking about the so called "draft chart" that the teams use that assigns point values to picks. GM's and coaches should not need a chart to know the value of a draft pick. Isn't most of this common sense? I'm highly anticipating the release of Madden 07 now just to see if the "draft chart" is incorporated into the game.
• What are the odds of Kiper's head exploding on live tv? Can you bet on this in Vegas?
• I may be wrong (and with this hang over it is highly likely), but I think Steve Young just threw out the first "upside" description of the day. Congrats Steve!
• HOLY SHIT! The Jets fans didn't boo the pick of Ferguson! Something is definitely wrong in the world right now. Stock up on canned goods.
• A.J. Hawk to the Packers and no camera on him at home and he's not in attendance. Where the hell is A.J.? Probably busy banging Brady's sister.
• Vernon Davis lost a little respect with his open weeping when he got drafted. There's no crying in the green room! Tell me he's not getting a ton of shit in the locker room this year.
• Michael Irvin just explained that Davis was weeping tears of joy. Thank you Captian Obvious! My roommate E then drops the obligatory "Maybe he's just crying because he's going to the 49ers" joke. Good times.
• My first WHOA! of the day goes to the Raiders and their selection of Huff. Apparently Al Davis has decided to role with Aaron Brooks at QB this year. See you in the top 10 of the draft again next year AL.
• E: "Michael Irvin hasn't spoken for about 10 minutes." Me: "Well, he's either stoned or they turned his mic off after the stupid tears of joy comment." We then spend the next 5 minutes trying to figure out how high Irvin is.
• My second HOLY SHIT! of the day goes to the Bills and their selection of Whitner at #8. The first big reach of the draft and further proof that octogenarians have no business running an NFL team.
• The suspense of a Matt Millen draft pick is always phenomenal. You never know what he's going to do.
• There's a decent chance that Leinart could be the Roethlisberger of this years draft. Decent team with plenty of talent around him and a guy who slipped further down then he thought he should have. Could be, and if it does happen remember you heard it here first.
• Jay Cutler looks like a Burger King employee more then a QB. I wouldn't draft him on that basis alone. Ding fries are done!
• Why is Jaws yelling? He's in the studio with no crowd noise to yell over. There's a 50-50 shot at Jaws and Berman causing blood to shoot out of my ears.
• Bravo to Haloti Ngata! He did it right and had his draft party in Vegas. Now that is how you do it!
• My worst dressed award for the day goes to Merrill Hodge. Nice pink striped shirt and crap crown jacket Merrill.
• Award for best interview of the first round is going to Ngata. Not only could ESPN not get the video going for it right away, not only was everyone screaming so loud you couldn't hear what the hell he said and not only were there random people walking through the camera shot, but also at the end I swear there was some girl throwing up gang signs in the background. Outstanding!
• My Defensive Rookie of the Year pick is going to Kamerion (pronounced Cameron) Wimbley of the Cleveland Browns. I picture him making the move to stand-up LB like Suggs did his rookie year and feasting on QB's. Playing opposite Willie Mcginest won't hurt either.
• Berman's hit a new low in asinine comments. He just said maybe Cleveland will rename the stadium Wimbley Stadium if he plays well. That's not even remotely funny. JACKASS!
• They just showed a live shot of the Vikings draft party at the Vikings Practice Bubble. They really named it the Practice Bubble? This is one of the many things wrong in Minnesota. I predict the Vikings won't make the playoffs till they rename and come out from their bubble.
• Nick Saban just did a live interview in one of Don Shula's turqoise sport coats from 1985. He's single handily trying to bring them back in style.
• Wow! Every guy on the NFL Live set doesn't like the Cromartie pick by San Diego and I actually agree with them. What the hell is wrong with me?
• Random question: Is there a rampant wart problem in the US that I'm not aware of Dr. Scholls?
• I wonder how many draft picks it wil take for the KC defense to be respectable again. I say the next 5 years worth.
• Highlight of the draft - Berman attempting to interview Herm Edwards while the Jets fans boo and yell insults at the screen with Herm's face on it. This includes the bonus of Jackson and Irvin laughing at the whole thing off screen while the interview is taking place.
• I'm fairly sure that Bill Belichick could draft Spud Webb at nose tackle and Berman and Mortensen would trip over each other to kiss his ass first and say what a great pick it was.
• My first WHO? of the draft goes to Davin Joseph. Tampa Bay selected him and not one of the talking heads had even brought up his name as a first round possibility. Oops.
• I have now officially lost all love for Santonio Holmes and I wish VD on him. Steelers Suck!
• Ater Buffalo's second pick I'm certain Marv Levy has lost his mind and he's taking draft advice from his dog. Lets just hope his cat is giving Marv better financial advice.
• Carolina Panthers pick at #27 - DeAngelo Williams, Offensive Rookie of the Year.
• ESPN keeps showing a blurb about the fact Vince Young is the third QB to go #3 in the last 7 years. The other two, Akili Smith and Joey Harrington. If I was Vince, I wouldn't want my name in the same sentence as those two.
• Random question: Who would you rather beat the crap out of; David Blaine or David Copperfield? I say Blaine.
• At this point I'm not sure who is more of an embarrasment to the rest of the guys covering the draft; Berman or Irvin. I say Berman, but only because he talks alot more than Irvin.
• The New York Giants DE had more combined sacks then any other pair of DE's in the NFL. Seems like a pretty solid position on the team, right? So who do they draft? A DE! Brilliant!

As the first round came to a close I hopped in my car to run to Burger King to grab a Whopper and see if Jay Cutler was there. On the way I flipped to ESPN's radio coverage of the draft and was blown away by how good Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic were handling it. They were professional, informative, and when they made a joke it was atleast amusing. Next year, I'm sitting in my car and listening to the draft.